Nothing but Grief
by Words within Worlds
Summary: You probably know what happened after Lightning Farron boarded the purge train, but what if she hadn't? what if she had listened to her superior officer? What if the story took a few unexpected twists? eventual HopexLight pairing, rated T for now but probably will be M in later chapters.
1. Day Twelve - Purge

**A/N:** So… it has been, what, years?, since I have written… anything; so I may be a little rusty. However for the first time in what seems to be 7 bloody years I can think clearly, so that might make things a little better! I apologize for any spelling, grammatical and nonsensical mistakes I might make.

ANYWAY… back to the fic. I originally came up with the idea for this fic during the cutscene when lightning remembers Lt. Amodar warning her against interfering in P.S.I.C.O.M business. I will be writing as I progress into the story so at the end of the day this will be following the overall plot of FFXIII… hope I don't disappoint!

 **Disclaimer:** the worlds of the collective FF games and all people, monsters and documented adventures therein are property of the guys (and possibly girls) of Square Enix (previously Squaresoft).

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 _Day Twelve – Purge_

Lightning gazed at the ceiling, still, unmoving; thoughts heavy on the Purge. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and her only companion in the house was her blade, which she not knowingly caressed, seeking comfort in the coldness of the steel.

She had many mixed emotions; grief at the loss of her sister, guilt for having not acted on her initial instinct to board the purge train in an attempt to "rescue" her… and shame for having not believed her in the first place.

There was a sudden ringing at the door, interrupting her thoughts. She sped to the door, not taking time to put anything on her feet and opened it. There was a large jovial man standing in the door's frame, a man she called lieutenant… a man she called friend.

"Lt. Amodar, sir…" she said with a hasty bow.

"At ease, Farron…" he said as he poked her forehead affectionately with a small chuckle "…the Guardian Corps: "Bodhum Security Regiment" has been momentarily discharged until the higher-ups figure out what to do with us…" he continued with a hint of sorrow, reminded of the fact that his beloved Bodhum had been reduced to a ghost town.

"Then… why are you here, sir?" Lightning asked, trying to avoid eye contact with her superior officer.

The man's face bore a solemn look. "I wanted to see how you're holding up… you ok?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

She chuckled bitterly before voicing her response. "I am healthy, sir" she said, maintaining a cold expression.

"What about up here?" the lieutenant asked, tapping his head with his index finger.

Lightning stiffened "I don't understa-…" she began, but a 'cut the crap' look from Amodar made her rephrase her response "… I've survived worse" She stated with a coldness that only a soldier could muster. She then realized that her superior officer was standing outside and she hadn't had the decency of inviting him in. "Would you like to enter?" she asked while stepping aside, allowing room for her lieutenant to pass.

"Yes, thank you..." he stepped into the entrance room of her house and looked around "… lovely place you got here."

"Thank you, sir… would you like a cup of tea? I'm not good at that stuff but I'll try." She felt embarrassed for only being able to offer tea, a beer would have been more appropriate for the veteran, but she had drunk whatever cans she had the night before in depresson.

"Yes, I would like that… oh, err… the kitchen?" asked Amodar, confused. It was the first time he had been inside the young soldier's house.

"Down the corridor, strait on." She stated, closing her front door in the process.

Amodar made his way through a narrow corridor with various photos on the wall; all of them had Lightning and her younger sister, Serah. He found it amusing that in most of them, Lightning looked just as grumpy as she always looked on duty. Indeed, the young soldier rarely ever smiled, but, when she did, it was probably the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

As he made his way into the kitchen he noticed how everything seemed to be in pairs: Two chairs, two napkins, two silver cups put next to the sink in order to be washed, two plates neatly placed on top of one another ready to be used… Truly this was the house of his favorite subordinate; only enough room for her and her sister, no friends or acquaintances and definitely no lovers.

"Sorry for the mess, sir." Lightning said as she rushed into the room and threw several pieces of torn wrapping paper into the waste bin, followed by several empty beer cans.

Amodar took notice of both. He knew that it was her birthday the day before, which justified the wrapping paper, but the cans were excessive. He also noticed that, on the table, there was a beautifully crafted survival knife; neither a scratch nor a smudge on it.

Lightning put a pot of water to boil and opened up her cupboards franticly taking out jars, cans, flasks and containers, checking them and tossing them aside. She was deep in thought and had no idea what she was doing; which would explain the way she was haphazardly throwing things around.

The lieutenant made his way over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You sure you're ok?" he asked with worry laced to every syllable.

The pink haired soldier paused. "Yeah, never better."

"Then how come…" Amodar grabbed a jar of blackish-brown powder "… you've picked up the tea and put it down four times now?"

Lightning took the jar from her superior's hand and started pouring the tea into a large metallic jug with a filter on the top. Once the water had boiled she emptied the contents of the pot into the jug and stirred it around with spoon she had cleaned. She then turned around, washed the two silver cups next to the sink and served the tea into each of them.

There was a silence, cold and unsettling, that pervaded in the room. Lightning brought the tea with shaky hands. "Here… sir" her voice was strained and tired.

"Thank you…" the large man took one of the cups from his subordinate and sat down at the table "… I saw that survival knife, it's beautiful." He stated, trying to initiate conversation.

Lightning looked at the tool in question and was bombarded by the memory of the day before. "It was my birthday present from Serah and that idiot she made the mistake of getting engaged to." The memory of Snow confessing his proposal angered her to no end.

Amodar was surprised. "Serah got engaged? To whom?" he didn't know the younger Farron that well, but from the few times he had seen her he gathered that she was the shy and timid sort.

"That idiot, Snow Villiers…" stated Lightning with a cold, bitter laugh "… what a joke!" she was still furious.

He was too bad an influence on Serah; always coming home late, if at all, stinking of alcohol, with the excuse that she was helping the NORA gang close shop at the bar. Lightning could only hope that her sister wouldn't turn up pregnant at her doorstep, or worse, that Snow would come over and impregnate Serah just down the corridor from her room!

"Snow Villiers, eh?" the lieutenant rubbed his chin between his index and his thumb, shaking his head slightly. "A shame that they'll never get married on Cocoon…" he then looked at Lightning, who was simply staring at her reflection in the tea "… the Purge must be hard on you.

"What do you mean, sir?" she asked in her icy tone of voice as she continued to stare into the black liquid in her cup. "I lost no one to the Purge…"

A wave of disbelief hit Amodar as he heard her state those last seven words. "What about your sister? Is she "no one"?"

Lightning's gaze lifted to meet Amodar's. There wasn't a hint of a tear; they weren't puffy nor red, just cold and lifeless. "I already lost her to the Fal'Cie…"

Amodar's eyes widened. "What…?" he had heard stories from the PSICOM officers that a few civilians had become l'Cie, accursed creatures doomed to a fate similar to death, or a fate worse than death; but he never really believed them… "Serah became…?"

"Yup… she told me yesterday, even showed me the brand…" she chugged down the entire cup of smoldering hot liquid in a single gulp, unaffected by the pain it caused "… but I didn't believe her… not that I wanted to." She continued in her icy tone.

Amodar placed his right hand on Lightning's left one. "Farron… you have no need to hide your emotions in front of me; you're like a daughter to me, y'know?" his voice was sincere and his tone, gentle.

The younger soldier could feel all of the emotional barriers she had erected begin to crumble. She hadn't displayed much emotion since her parents died and left her and her sister all alone. And now, after hours upon hours of wallowing in her misery, she finally had somebody to talk to, but no idea how to. She could only hope that she could keep whatever she had to say coherent.

"I…" she started, tightening her grip on the silvery object "… feel so… goddamned useless!" she yelled as she tossed the cup across the room. It landed with a mighty crashing sound and then started spinning uncontrollably on the floor. "I couldn't keep her away from the Fal'Cie, couldn't keep her away from Snow, couldn't even believe her when she opened up to me! I just… couldn't…" she balled her fists and clenched her jaw at her uselessness. "I even had a mind to board the purge train and try to rescue her from the Vestige… but I never attempted it."

Amodar had listened to every pain filled word she had let out and took a few seconds to calculate his response. "What made you change your mind?" he finally asked.

Lightning looked to the ground. "It was… what you told me, the night of the fireworks…" she admitted "… "Nothing will come out of looking into PSICOM affairs… nothing but grief"… I had figured that by executing my plan, I would have put in danger the lives of countless civilians; all to save someone who is beyond saving." That last sentence came with a wave of hopelessness. She looked up at her lieutenant. "Did I do the right thing, sir? Should I have gone and endangered the lives of innocents in order to have a chance of saving my sister?" there was desperation in her voice, something very uncharacteristic for the soldier.

Amodar probed his thoughts for a suitable answer until he finally found it in the form of a painful memory. "Farron…" he started, clearing his throat "… do you know why I joined the Corps?"

Lightning looked at him, confused, and shook her head. "No, sir… you never told me."

The lieutenant gathered his words together. "When I was young… my father used to abuse my mother and me. He would often shout and insult us, and, sometimes, he would resort to physical violence…" he looked towards Lightning who nodded in recognition to what he just said "… that continued until I was around… thirteen. By then we all lived in fear of my father and I spent as much time as I could away from home, to get away from him…" once again he looked at Lightning, who gave him the same gesture as before "… well, one day, returning from school, I found him standing over my mother… drenched in her blood; he had beaten her to death."

Lightning had paid close attention to her commanding officer's tragic tale and felt neither grief nor pity, for she knew he was above that, and simply tried to understand what kind of trauma that could have left. "What did you do?" she asked with curiosity.

The lieutenant chuckled with slight bitterness. "I fell to my knees and cried like a babe… I guess I was lucky that he spared me and simply ran off towards the sunset…" there was pain in the man's eyes. Pain he hadn't shared with anyone until now.

"Did you go after him?" Lightning asked, leaning on the edge of her seat.

The lieutenant shook his head slowly. "I thought about it… I could have grabbed a kitchen knife my mother hid in the draws and gone after my old man; but ultimately, where would that get me? I mean, he beat my mother to death with his bare hands, a scrawny kid like I was would have no chance…" he could feel Lightning's gaze intensify as her curiosity grew and decided to continue "… so, I called the Guardian Corps and pointed them in the direction that he ran in…" a smug smile graced his lips "… they found him within hours and gunned him down where he stood. Afterwards I joined up with the Corps and dedicated my life to squelching similar injustices." He ended with a hearty laugh.

"Thank you, sir, for sharing your story but…" she gave a confused look once again "… what has that got to do with me and my situation?" she just couldn't relate the two experiences.

Amodar looked at his subordinate with a piercing stare. "Basically, you ditched the idea to run after your sister in a futile attempt to rescue her, knowing it would only lead to civilian deaths and had a small if not zero percent chance of success… you know what they say about the l'Cie… just like I stopped myself from going after my father in a stupid attempt to bring him down, knowing it would only lead to my death and, possibly, the deaths of others." After finishing his story and his tea, he rose from his chair. "Now… I've taken advantage of your hospitality long enough, I see that it would be best if you took a nap; you look ready to drop." He stated with a jovial smile.

Lightning arose from her seat as well. "Not at all, sir; I was glad to have this conversation and I…" she paused as she lost balance "… I might just take you up on that, sir" she gave a half smile, many thoughts in her mind being cleared by her commanding officer's words.

"Take care of yourself, Farron." Amodar said as he walked out.

She bowed in respect as he left ' _you too, sir_ ' she thought. She then headed upstairs, to her bedroom, in an attempt to give her body the rest it needed.

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 **A/N:** So? What do you think? I know that it is rather uneventful and that Lightning was a bit ooc, but I felt that a good place to start was at the beginning, right? Feel free to leave a review and stuff… I'll begin work on another chapter in due course.


	2. Rest in Peace

**A/N:** Ok, if you didn't like the last chapter, thinking it was too boring and uneventful, then I have a treat for you: this chapter! Hope you enjoy.

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Lightning's bright turquoise eyes were the only things visible in the darkness of her room, as they seemed to emit their very own light.

She still couldn't sleep. She had spent most of the previous day, after talking with the lieutenant, trying; but it was futile. She felt like a failure; a failure of a soldier, a failure of a sister… just a failure. Every time she shut her eyes, she saw Serah laughing and playing around with her childish games, but, when she opened them, all she saw was the ceiling of her bedroom.

She rose into a sitting position and tried to shake the dizziness from her head, then, she rolled a pair of socks up her feet and ankles and put on her combat boots. She then proceeded downstairs and skipped breakfast for the second time since her birthday. Before opening the front door and exiting, she took a look into a small wall mirror that was hung up on the wall.

She felt dirty. She hadn't changed her clothes since the night of the fireworks and stains of sweat were beginning to appear on her sleeveless, cream colored jacked. The soldier picked up the keys she kept in a silver bowl, opened the door and stepped out; locking the door behind her. She turned towards the Guardian Corps' Bodhum HQ and marched onward.

When she arrived at the sliding doors of the HQ building, she slid a keycard over a small screen to the side, gaining access to the facility. There was nobody there so she simply walked over to the officer's break room and threw herself onto one of the several large, comfortable armchairs that were at her disposal. She grabbed a remote and turned on the holographic screen.

As soon as the hologram appeared, the news theme music started playing and the news announcement screen parted to reveal a lady wearing a suit and holding a microphone. "Today, we have received word from PSICOM that the Purge deportees arrived safely and soundly to their new home on Pulse. Galenth Dysley, our good primarch, has announced his opinions on the subject of the Purge." The ruler of the Sanctum himself then appeared on the screen.

Lightning didn't pay much attention to the old geezer's speech and simply found herself drifting into slumber's embrace; her mind at ease, knowing that everyone was ok. As her vision darkened she heard herself saying "I hope Serah's ok…"

Time passed and Phoenix, Cocoon's very own light in the sky, had drifted away; leaving only a small glimmer on the horizon. Suddenly, the door to the officer's break room burst open; revealing Lt. Amodar in its frame. He marched over to the sleeping Lightning.

"Hey, Farron…" he poked her forehead "…hey." He still received no response. "Hey!" he flicked her nose.

The young soldier jolted upright and instinctively reached for her gunblade; however when she saw her lieutenant's jovial smile, she calmed down. "Sir? What are…?" she took in her surroundings, trying to make out where she was. When she realized that she had fallen asleep in the HQ her cheeks flared red. "Oh! I'm so sorry sir! I… I-" she stuttered nervously.

"At ease, soldier…" the lieutenant said with a chuckle "… we've been given an assignment. Follow me." He said as he walked towards his office, beckoning Lightning to follow.

She followed him into a small room that was filled with boxes; the only part of it that was even slightly orderly was the desk in its center. Amodar bade her to sit in one of the chairs that wasn't covered in boxes and then took a seat himself.

"Are you leaving, sir?" Lightning asked.

The old veteran nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think I'll be quitin' the BSR…" he said with a touch of melancholy "… the Mrs. back in Eden is getting tired of the long shifts away from home… so I'll probably ask to be reassigned there." He then took out of his pocket, a stack of sealed orders with the word 'confidential' stamped on. "But first, we gotta see to this…"

Lightning looked curiously at the small bundle of confidential letters. "What are those for?" she asked with curiosity.

"Our orders from PSICOM… they report that the Purge was a disaster, leading to thousands upon thousands of civilian deaths." Amodar said angrily.

Lightning was shocked. "What!? But the news said that they had arrived safe and sound!" she blurted out, unable to believe what she just heard.

Amodar chuckled bitterly. "A cover up… PSICOM reports that there was a large-scale civilian uprising, but I'm not so sure…" there was a sinister feeling in the room as the two soldiers stood in a moment of ominous silence. "Anyway, we've been dispatched to the Vile Peaks… gotta hunt down some supposed l'Cie stragglers." Said the lieutenant, opening and reading the orders.

Lightning still wasn't over her initial shock from the news of the Purge. "Sir… what… what happened to the Vestige?" she asked despairingly.

Amodar gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, Farron… I only got the essential info from the higher ups." His attention turned back to his orders. "Anyway, the PSICOM airship should be here to pick us up anytime now…" as he finished his sentence a loud humming noise filled the atmosphere and the walls and windows began vibrating.

The two Corps soldiers rose from their seats and headed over to the window to see what the commotion was. They saw a huge piece of flying machinery fly over head and come to a stop, hovering over the beach.

"Looks like our ride is here… you ready Farron?" asked Amodar with a shining, toothy grin.

The younger soldier nodded and followed her superior officer to the airship. There they were greeted by a PSICOM pilot, standing on the open platform door. "You Lt. Amodar!?" he asked, raising his voice in a futile attempt to sound louder than the engine.

Amodar nodded "Yeah!"

The PSICOM soldier beckoned them into the aircraft and ran inside, and was then followed by the two Corps members. The inside was spacey with two pilot seats and four passenger seats, each with their own array of commodities such as vibration features and built-in radio and hologram. The pink haired woman took a seat next to the lieutenant and fixed the safety straps tightly.

As they took off Lightning couldn't help but look towards Bodhum saying goodbye to the many bittersweet memories that lingered there. When they were high enough to initiate stable flight, Lightning turned to the PSICOM boys. "Any idea how some l'Cie could escape the Purge?" she asked with curiosity.

The pilots' initial response was silence, but after a few moments the secondary officer responded. "I heard that the Vestige, under strain of attack, did some kind of… well, something… and turned Lake Bresha to crystal." His voice was full of uncertainty.

"And then?" Lightning asked, hoping that he would continue.

The looked towards his partner, hoping for permission. After a pause the main pilot nodded and his partner resumed his report. "Well, PSICOM survivors were sent to apprehend any Purge escapees and after many hours there were reports that an unsanctioned airship pierced through the defense lines and crashed in the direction of the Vile Hills…" he said solemnly.

Lightning had one last question. "Do you know how to fight l'Cie?" she wasn't sure why she asked the question, but she had spoken it anyway.

The PSICOM pilots exchanged glances and then fell silent. The rest of the flight was carried out in with neither the PSICOM members nor the two Corps soldiers uttering a word. When they finally arrived at the Vile Peaks Lightning was silently thanking Eden that the awkward silence had ended.

She and Lt. Amodar dropped out of the open platform hatch onto the filth-covered ground below. The stink of rot and decay assaulted Lightning's nostrils and, combined with the intense rust particles in the air, made her feel sick. She was starting to wish that she had one of those expensive gasmasks that the guys from PSICOM wore.

"This way Farron…" said Lt. Amodar as he passed by her, his huge Gatling gun resting on his shoulder.

Lightning had heard stories of Amodar's feats on the frontier. Some among the Bodhum Security Regiment said that he once singlehandedly took out three wyverns in the Gapra Whitewood while patrolling the facilities there.

She followed him to a small makeshift command center where a huge armor-clad PSICOM elite soldier was directing officers of both his division and those of the Guardian Corps. "- the third squad shall go further into the lowlands to see if they might have taken refuge in the junk…" he was saying before catching a glimpse of Lightning and Amodar. "Who the hell are you!? Why aren't you in position!?" he barked.

Amodar took a confidant step forward and in an equally confidant tone stated "WE are the S division…"

The PSICOM executioner nodded. "Ah, Lt. Amodar and his right hand, welcome to the l'Cie hunt…" he laughed "… I was just about to announce to the other members of our squad in which direction we'll be heading." He was standing next to two other PSICOM units: two gunners holding heavy assault rifles. "We'll be going north… towards Palompolum. I suspect that they might want to head towards the capital, Eden" said the elite.

After a moment of simple battle strategy the different squads went their separate ways, with Lightning and Amodar following behind the PSICOM executioner. As they marched, Lightning took notice of the way the troops walked, acted and held their weapons. ' _Rookies…_ ' she thought.

They were too stiff, too rigid. They held their guns pointing in the direction that their bodies were facing, not where their eyes were pointing. This meant that if they saw something, they would have had to bring their weapons up and aim; giving an enemy all the time in the world to strike. Also they were frantically looking from one side to the other, having not the slightest clue of what to look out for.

Indeed it was embarrassing that she had to place confidence in these imbeciles. She looked up to her commanding officer who just gave her a shrug.

After what seemed like hours of aimlessly marching through the junk the executioner stopped and raised his hand. "Halt! Look down there…" he said pointing down a large hole in the ground with his lance.

It was dark and it seemed like it had been made from a large impact that caused the junk to crumble. In its center was a huge, smoking machine.

"The l'Cie probably ran into a Pulse mecha…" he laughed "… those poor fools had no idea… but it looks like they got away, so, let's get to it!" he said, tapping a large contraption that was fixed to his waist. As he did so, sparks of electricity flashed everywhere as a dome of magnetic energy surrounded him. "C'mon, activate your AMP devices and jump!" he said before leaping.

The two other PSICOM soldiers tossed small pods that exploded into an anti-gravitational field, and then jumped, themselves. Amodar pressed a small button located on one of his uniform's straps and then clumsily hurdled himself in. Lightning shook her head at all the nonsense but snapped her fingers all the same, causing her AMP device to activate.

When she reached the bottom, the PSICOM executioner was examining something between his fingertips. "Fresh blood… the l'Cie came this way!" he said triumphantly. "If we hurry, we can catch and exterminate them!" he then charged forward.

Lightning grabbed his shoulder. "Sir, what if they are just normal humans?" she asked.

"Then it will be easier to execute them…" said the elite, no expression present on the already faceless helmet he bore. He then shook Lightning's grip off of him and sped forward.

Lightning turned towards her lieutenant. "Sir, they mean to slaughter defenseless civilians!" she blurted out.

"I know Farron… but there is no defying the word of the Sanctum… and unfortunately the word of PSICOM is the word of the Sanctum." Amodar said halfheartedly. He liked the situation no more than Lightning did, but he knew orders were orders.

The female soldier could only think of Serah; what would she do if Serah was among them? She shook her head free of all thought and dashed behind her commanders.

"I see them!" exclaimed one of the gunners as he ran ahead of the squad, releasing an entire magazine in the process.

He missed, of course, and, as he was reloading, one of the fugitives turned around and shot; both bullets hitting their mark. Lightning analyzed her targets: one dark-skinned adult male who was armed, one seemingly adolescent male with pale skin and no weapons and one seemingly adolescent female, armed with some kind of elongated object.

As the first gunner to open fire slumped to the ground, the second gunner charged forward and released his magazine of bullets. He ended up dead like his partner. After the loss of both his PSICOM comrades, the executioner charged forward with his lance poised to strike.

"I sentence you in the name of Cocoon!" he exclaimed as he brought his weapon forward, only to miss and receive a bullet between the eyes. He then fell down and rolled forward into a load of junk, due to his momentum.

The fugitives had stopped in their tracks and stood to face Lightning and Lt. Amodar. "Hey, hey! Let's not do anything we'll regret, now!" said the adult male.

Amodar stood with his Gatling gun ready for action, aiming carefully at the man in front of him. "You a l'Cie?" he asked.

The man in front's expression turned grim. "Listen… we were all there at the wrong place and at the wrong time… none of us have any intentions of harming Cocoon, I just wanna get this kid home, ok?" he said, frightened.

Lightning examined them all more carefully. The eldest of the group had grey pants that tucked into his shin-high boots, above, he wore a green coat over a white shirt; the crest for the civilian air force academy was sown to the shoulder pads of his coat. Behind him was a girl, who looked to be around sixteen, with bright ginger hair and who wore an outfit fashioned from furs and animal bones, which Lightning marked as unusual. At the back of the group, Lightning saw a boy curled up on the floor who was whimpering softly; however at the lack of a good look she couldn't determine his age nor his appearance very well.

Amodar bore a grave look. "I'm sorry… but if you really are l'Cie, then you are a danger to the society that the Corps has so desperately tried to defend all these years…" he placed his left hand on the crank that activated his weapon's awesome destructive power "… I really am sorry." He said as her turned it.

The eldest l'Cie jumped just as the hail of bullets was released and rolled around in the dirt, losing his twin pistols in the process. He immediately rose to his knees and focused some kind of energy into his hand.

Lightning saw the small orb glowing in the man's hands and immediately pushed Amodar out of the way. "Watch out, sir!" she exclaimed as they hit the floor.

Amodar looked on in disbelief as his gun was reduced to a puddle of molten iron on the ground. "So, this must be that l'Cie magic I've heard so many stories of…" he then rose to his feet and took out a pair of knuckle dusters with gun barrel attachments fixed on. "This is gonna be interesting… Farron, take the other two!" he ordered.

Lightning was hesitant. "But sir… they're just kids." She stated.

The lieutenant was too busy engaging the adult male l'Cie to be able to hear his subordinate and was simply smashing his fists into his opponent's ribcage. He gave a left hook, followed by a right jab and then smashed down on his opponent's shoulders. "A shame it has to be this way…" Amodar said as he aimed to release the bullets in his knuckle duster's attachment.

"Sazh!" said the female l'Cie as she hurled a sphere of green energy towards the wounded man.

The moment it touched him, the man rolled out of the way of Amodar's blast and reached for his pistols. "Sorry, but I have no choice…" he said as he aimed.

The sound of steel penetrating flesh resonated throughout the small battlefield.

Lightning was standing behind the adult male l'Cie, with her blade through his abdomen; blood dripping from the Blazefire Saber's tip. She then drew her weapon out of the l'Cie and let him drop to the ground.

Amodar walked up to Lightning and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks Farron…" he said in gratitude "… but it looks like we'll have to take out the other two." His voice turned somber and his tone, grim.

The ginger haired l'Cie ran towards the downed man. "Sazh! Hold on, Sazh!" she shrieked as she threw herself next to him, creating more of those peculiar spheres of energy.

Lightning shifted her gunblade into its long-range mode and took aim. She was hesitant to pull the trigger, which led to the recovery of the more able l'Cie.

"No! You're not layin' a finger on her!" he exclaimed as he shot a ball of fire upwards, towards the sky.

Amodar hastily looked up and saw that the l'Cie had just caused a huge pile of junk above him and Lightning to collapse. "Farron, look out!" he yelled as he pushed the young woman out of the way.

Lightning tumbled onto the ground and rolled, using the momentum to get back on her feet. "Sir!" she exclaimed, seeing nothing but a cloud of dust that had formed all around her. When the dust cleared all lightning could see was a towering wall of sharp, jagged junk. "Sir! Sir, are you all right!?" there was no response.

The soldier collapsed onto her knees.

Lightning never cried, not once; not when her parents died, not when her sister revealed being a l'Cie and not even now after losing her only friend. She simply struck the ground with her fists. She struck it again and again and again. Every time she struck, a new wave of anger and sorrow bathed her in its bitter warmth. She continued to take out her feelings on the dirt beneath her until she heard a sniffle.

She turned around to see the young male l'Cie sitting against a boulder with wide, watery eyes. "You…" she seethed with rage "… you're one of them, aren't you!? I'm gonna kill you!" she practically screamed.

The boy held up his arms defensively and shrieked. "Please! D-don't! I-I-I'm sorry!" he then began sobbing loudly muttering the occasional "I'm sorry" between fits of sobbing that left him hiccupping.

Lightning stayed her blade. Something moved within her after seeing how defenseless the young l'Cie was. He was so afraid that he even wet himself. She grunted. "Stop crying!" she eventually yelled, causing the boy to hush his sobs. The soldier then turned and tried to move some of the large rusted metal clumps out of the way "Ahh!" she cried as she cut her hand and blood began to trickle down her arm. It was no use, these pieces of junk were simply to sharp and heavy to move by herself.

She turned her attention back to the crying l'Cie.

"Hey!" she called, trying to get his attention. "Get up!" The boy timidly rose to his feet and urine traveled down his leg. Lightning frowned. "Disgusting…" she then pointed in the direction she thought the Gapra Whitewood was in. "Move."

The l'Cie looked at her, confused. "I… uh…" was all he could say.

"Move! Or I'll drag your corpse to the command center…" she threatened, dead seriousness in her tone. The silvery-haired l'Cie jolted slightly, afraid of his captor, and started walking in the direction she had pointed. As they left the area, Lightning had to say one last goodbye to her friend and commanding officer. ' _Rest in peace… Lt. Amodar_ '

* * *

 **A/N:** Ok, so I tried to make it a little more… action packed and significant than the last chapter, please tell me what you think! To be honest these chapters are getting exhausting to write so it might take a little while for the next one. Hope nobody minds…


	3. Through the Junk

**A/N:** So, new chapter, people!

On a side note: has anyone noticed that Lightning and Hope have a lot in common? They both have turquoise eyes (although different shades), they are the most effective l'Cie in battle (imo since Hope has the full magic package and Lightning turns all her enemies into paste) and they both have the most awesome eidolons…

WARNING: contains blood and gore, readers be warned this is an M rated chap and so the rating shall be changed.

* * *

Lightning and her l'Cie captive made their way through the junk in a desperate attempt to leave the Vile Peaks. The soldier was having a hard time getting the boy to move as he kept "getting tired" from the constant marching. Also, her left hand was going numb from her cut and she was beginning to feel the strain of blood loss taking its toll.

The l'Cie stopped. "P-please… just a second… to… catch my…" he panted.

Lightning was at her wit's end. She twirled around in a huff and stomped over toward her captive. "I told you…" she grabbed him by the throat "… that if you didn't hurry up…" she picked him up off the ground effortlessly and turned in the direction she was before "… I would kill you!" she then threw the young l'Cie and gave him a violent kick that sent him soaring skyward.

He flew through the air, yelping in pain and fright, before coming down and falling along the side of a steep drop-off; a loud clank coming from the impact, along with the familiar sound of metal piercing flesh. Lightning hurried over to the edge.

"Oh no…" she managed to say, before jumping down to assist the l'Cie.

He had fallen onto a rusty pipe that had subsequently pierced his leg and was protruding from just above his kneecap. "Ahh! It hurts! It hurts!" he shrieked as he writhed in pain.

"Hold still!" Lightning ordered, trying to examine his injury. It didn't look good: the pipe had bone wedged into it; meaning that it had, surprisingly, gone through the femur and, quite possibly, had severed an artery or vein. "Fuck…" was all she could say as she hadn't brought any potions with her on her mission.

"Take it out…" she thought she heard the l'Cie say.

She looked up to meet his gaze. "What?" she asked, unsure if she had heard him correctly.

"Take… it… out!" he managed to say between pants. His voice was serious, despite being high pitched from the agony, and his face, though contorted in pain, was somewhat calm. All in all he seemed lucid.

Lightning shook her head. "No! You'll bleed to death!" she exclaimed matter-of-factly.

"I'll b-bleed… to death… a-anyway…" he was clinging on to his consciousness in a desperate attempt not to faint "I can… h-heal myself…" he stated.

Lightning let what he said soak in before replying. "No… I'm not gonna trust some kid's stupid plan!" she exclaimed.

"I might… be a kid… but I'm… also a… l'Cie…" he said as he was beginning to feel himself slip into unconsciousness "… if I die… what do you lose?" he asked.

Lightning was asking herself that very question. ' _What would I lose?_ ' she asked herself again and again. For some reason the answer came to her from looking at his face. She felt compelled to keep her young l'Cie alive, despite what she had been ordered to do. "If I take it out… it'll hurt." She said, wanting to make sure he'd remain conscious enough to heal himself and survive the ordeal.

He nodded and Lightning grabbed a steady hold of the bloody, rusted pipe. Without hesitation she pulled on it, forcing it to reverse its trajectory through the boy's leg. He screamed in pain, but managed to conjure up a small sphere of glowing energy that washed over his body.

Lightning marvelled at the way that the bone, flesh, tissue and skin reformed perfectly without leaving so much as a scar. "Not bad… maybe you aren't such a pathetic-" she heard a thud as the l'Cie's body fell limp and his head hit the floor.

The soldier rose to her feet and started pacing. She was weighing her options, trying to find a way that would ensure their survival. All paths, however, seemed to lead to her having to abandon her captive in order to go on herself. She looked back at the unconscious boy. He looked so young, yet so mature at the same time. His khaki shorts where torn and dirty from his recent experiences, including his loss of bladder control from meeting the soldier, and his yellow jacket, black t-shirt, scarf and face were stained a deep shade of crimson from the blood that spurted out of his wound when Lightning had removed the pipe; forming the grim image of broken innocence.

She sighed and walked over to her bloody captive, just realizing that she herself was soaked in the red fluid, and picked him up. ' _l'Cie or no, nobody deserves to die in a place like this…_ ' she looked at his face '… _especially this young…'_ she then began marching with the young l'Cie in her grasp.

The trek wasn't easy, as Lightning could feel herself begin to weaken and her vision haze. She had left her hand's wound to go unchecked and that was a huge mistake. She tried to ignore it, tried to keep a steady hold of the l'Cie in her arms and tried to put one leg in front of the other, but it was no use; her body ended up winning.

"Damn it! Not now…" she cried as she fell to her knees. She placed the boy onto the ground and slumped down next to him, her consciousness beginning to fade as her vision darkened. ' _I'm sorry… Serah_ ' were her final thoughts...

All of a sudden Lightning felt warmth wash over her body, like a wave of spring water. As her senses came to, she opened her eyes and looked around; taking in her surroundings to the best of her abilities. She was lying on the ground with her right arm tucked under her breast; her left arm was stretched outward with her hand being caressed gently. She felt a presence looming over her and looked up.

The only things that her hazy, unfocused vision managed to make out, was a pair of big turquoise eyes looking back at her. "Serah…?" she muttered.

"Uhh… no…" responded a boy's voice.

The soldier's vision began to focus and she saw that it was her l'Cie captive looking down upon her. "You…!?" she asked with unmasked confusion as she tried to sit upright.

The l'Cie rushed to catch her as she tumbled backwards from dizziness. "Hey, easy! I mean… you lost a lot of blood… don't move too much yet." He said with concern.

Lightning shook herself free of the remaining nausea and looked at the boy with obvious confusion. "I thought you'd have run to the hills by now…" she said with small chuckle "… why'd you stick around, kid?"

"Hope." He stated.

"Huh?" once again, confusion entered her expression.

"My name is Hope… Hope Estheim." He explained. "And as for the reason I stuck around was…" he blushed "… cause you were hurt." He said quickly, as if hiding something.

Lightning looked down at her hand. Hope was caressing and massaging it and it seemed as if the pain had gone. "Why did you help me? I thought that if I went down, you'd be home free." She stated, enjoying the gentle kneading on her hand.

Hope looked down at the soldier's fingers, resting between his own. "Well… for starters…you didn't kill me, so, for that, I'm grateful." He said as memories of how countless soldiers had tried to put a bullet between his eyes flooded his mind. "And… you did help me, so I'm grateful for that, also…" he subconsciously placed his right hand over where his wound was "… also…" he looked up at the soldier who was waiting for him to continue "… you were calling out to someone so I… I decided to help…" his cheeks were turning pink again.

Lightning, true to her "name", pulled back her hand quickly, as if burned by fire. She then rose to her feet, dusting off all the grime and filth from her outfit. She turned towards Hope, who rose with her and was currently looking at his feet.

"Thanks for the help, _Hope_ , but don't think I'll grant any favours for kissing my ass…" she stated, rather flustered "You're a l'Cie and I'm a soldier… so I'll do my civic duty and bring you in." she was talking more to herself than to the l'Cie.

The boy looked up, gazing at his jailor with furrowed brows. "Bring me in where?" he asked, his solemn voice echoed with an icy edge in Lightning's ear.

Lightning blinked. The kid had caught her in a trap. She couldn't bring him to PSICOM, for they would just brand her a traitor along with him, and she couldn't bring him to the Guardian Corps; no telling what trouble that would bring…

She remembered something that that adult l'Cie had said about 'getting the kid home'. "Hey…" she called to Hope.

"Hmm?" he responded, eyes wide with curiosity.

"You got family in Palompolum?" the soldier asked, hoping that the kid wasn't an orphan who lived on the streets stealing purses.

At the mention of family, Hope's eyes averted Lightning's gaze and he shrunk into a timid, almost frightened, stance. "Y-yeah… my… dad" his voice was soft and quiet, almost as though he was afraid to be heard.

Lightning chose to ignore the l'Cie's shift in behaviour; she had enough problems. "Good, then it's settled. We'll go to Palompolum, drop you off at your house and then I'll be on my way…" she stated somewhat cheerfully. This was the first time since her birthday that she had a plan to follow and so came a feeling of triumph with her new, self-devised mission.

Hope simply nodded. It had been the same with Sazh, the last adult to "take charge" of him and, quite frankly, he was sick of it. He was sick of being treated like a bag of heavy, useless junk… always pushed around by somebody else in order to get rid of him quickly. It was like that before he became a l'Cie and now… now he felt more unwanted than ever.

"I'll go easy on you, kid, but don't think I'll get too soft on you… we still have over a day of constant marching, before we reach the Gapra Whitewood… that should be two nights, including tonight. Don't worry, we'll stop to sleep." She stated, giving Hope no time to object to any of the 'mission objectives' that Lightning decreed.

The beginning of their trek was relatively easy; Lightning felt like she had renewed strength, probably from the healing magics that her l'Cie companion performed on her. However, as they journeyed, Hope began to get even more tired as he balanced healing the party and keeping up with the headstrong woman; all the while dodging the many different monsters of the peaks.

"Enough… please…" Hope cried as he dropped to his knees, panting desperately for air. It must have been the middle of the night, he figured, but it was impossible to tell as Phoenix never shone its light over Cocoon's rubbish dump.

Lightning sheathed her gunblade. "I guess it's a good enough location to rest…" she said as she checked the area "… I'll go see if I can catch anything for you to eat." She stated before heading off into the gullies of junk.

Hope, once left alone, decided to gather together pieces of junk that he thought might contain remnants of fuel. Once he had made his pile he reached out his hands, concentrating his magical power. "Fire…" he whispered, before shooting a small tongue of flame from his fingertips.

The junk ignited almost instantaneously and the l'Cie proudly sat down next to his "bonfire". He watched the flames flicker and saw how the metal started to glow red hot from the heat. While looking at this little display of flames, Hope started to think about things: about his now-deceased mother, about the one who took her away, about his fate as a l'Cie and… about his new female companion who had yet to reveal her name.

Just as he commenced thinking about her, Lightning marched into Hope's little 'camp'; carrying some kind of militarized abomination. "Here…" she said as she tossed it in front of the boy.

Hope recognized the beast. It was a Thexteron, a creature that was 'modified' by the Sanctum army. "Umm…" he looked at Lightning with both worry and confusion.

"Don't worry, just separate the fleshy parts from the… altered ones" she stated matter-of-factly.

The l'Cie began to nervously prod the beast, not having a clue of what to do, and then flipped the creature on its back. "Umm… what do I do now?" he asked.

Lightning produced a survival knife that was around four inches in length. "Here, use this… but be careful with it!" she exclaimed while handing it to the boy. "It was a gift…" she then whispered to herself.

Hope took it and marvelled at the blade's sharpness. He then plunged it into the beast's belly and began to carve a bloody opening up towards its chest. Once he had opened the thing up, he saw a variety of modifications to the beast's skeletal structure. "What did they do to this thing?" he asked in disgust.

Lightning, who was now standing guard, turned her head towards Hope. "They keep certain animals penned up in selected environments and then give them food chosen by the keepers…" she began, knowing only very little about the matter, herself.

"And then they do… this to them?" Hope interrupted.

Lightning groaned. "Don't interrupt if you want me to continue…" she waited for a nod in confirmation from her young companion before continuing "… no, they then subjugate the animals to selective breading… usually of the "inbreeding" kind, to develop further mutation." She ended with a small yawn.

"Inbreeding?" asked Hope.

"Yeah, it's when they make all the mommies and daddies have "happy fun time" with their kids…" she stated with heavy sarcasm, ending her moronic explanation with a chuckle.

Hope's cheeks went red. "I know what it means!" he stated with embarrassment. He then cut himself. "Owch!" he cried as he pulled back his hand.

Lightning sighed. "See what happens… when you're not paying attention?" she said, turning around. She then walked over to the carcass. "Can you heal yourself?" she asked.

"Yeah…" said the l'Cie, embarrassed. He then concentrated energy into his hands and his l'Cie brand, located on his wrist underneath his bandana, started glowing a pale green colour. "cure" he whispered, releasing the healing energies into his body and, subsequently, healing the gash on the side of his left hand.

Lightning knew that she would never get used to the sight of magic in action as the tingling energy emitted from her charge. She then took hold of her birthday present, now covered in blood, and dangled it in front of Hope's eyes. "Look… this is how you gut an animal…" she explained as she tried to show the l'Cie how to survive "… first is where to cut: the underside is full of guts that can rupture and spread bacteria…" she opened up the gash that Hope had made and showed him "… you should start at the legs or the throat, that's where the muscle is at…" she looked up to the l'Cie "… are you paying attention!?" she exclaimed.

After a small nod from Hope, Lightning continued explaining how to skin the animal; putting extra effort into piercing the beast's rock-hard hide. After messily taking the Thexteron's hide apart in unconventional strips, Lightning started carving into the leg in an effort to separate the tough meat from the genetically-modified bones; being too hard to snap. By the time she was done, four slivers of meat were steadily cooking on the pile of red-hot metal plates; the flames having died down long before.

Hope looked at his female companion with concern. "What about you?" he asked.

Lightning, who had taken up a sitting position opposite him, turned her head. "I'm… not hungry" she simply stated.

Hope continued to look at her with concern evident in his wide, almond-shaped eyes. "You sure?" he asked before receiving a dismissive brushing motion from Lightning. He hesitantly took a sliver of dark brown roasted meat and took a bite.

The flavours danced on the boy's tongue like a swirling current going through an ocean of textures. Indeed, being the first thing he ate since before he boarded the purge train, he couldn't hold back the tears welling up in his eyes; gentle, muted sobs resonated in the night air as he cried with unmasked joy. However, the l'Cie couldn't help but feel guilt's bitter taste taint the euphoria he was feeling; seeing the soldier smiling unknowingly at him.

When he swallowed, Hope lied back against a large, rusted plate of metal embedded in the ground. "You still haven't told me your name…" said the silvery-haired boy, practically begging for an answer.

The soldier looked at him. "Lightning… but you can call me Light, if you want." She stated, the day's exhaustion beginning to settle in.

Hope started to blush as he formed another question. "Umm… who's Serah?" he asked.

Lightning's eyes shot wide open. "How do you know that name!?" she blurted out, furiously.

Hope shied backwards into the metal plate he was leaning against. "Y-you were calling out to her… back when you passed out and were…" he explained, stopping before saying something he might regret.

Lightning calmed down and looked curiously at the young l'Cie. "Were… what?" she asked.

Hope's cheeks flared a deeper shade of red. "Well… you were… snuggling into… me" he said hesitantly, embarrassed.

The soldier gasped quietly and turned her gaze, cheeks flaring as she did so. "I…" there was an awkward and uneasy silence between the two. After the silence dragged on too long, Lightning spoke. "Serah… she was my sister." She stated solemnly.

Hope picked up on the solemn tone in her voice. "Was?" he asked, careful not to strike a nerve.

Lightning looked angrily at the inquisitive little l'Cie, but found her anger fade at the sight of his wide, almond-shaped eyes. She sighed. "She was made a l'Cie… and was trapped inside the Vestige when they took it… I… I didn't do a thing to help her." She said, her voice dripping with regret.

Hope gasped in shock. "Wait… when I was… in the Vestige there was a girl named Sarah who turned to crystal after talking to… a man named Snow…" he spat the last part with a venom that could kill behemoths.

Lightning took no notice of the l'Cie's dark tone and simply kept on hearing that Sarah had turned to crystal, like a booming echo that was only beginning to sink in to her brain. She bore a vacant expression for the remainder of the time that Hope was awake. When he slumped down to sleep, she let her façade shatter.

Lightning never cried. Not when her parents died, not when her sister was made a l'Cie and not when her only friend was killed. But this was too much… all at once she had lost seemingly everything. But then, looking at the young l'Cie slumbering peacefully opposite her, she was reminded that she had not lost _everything_ as she saw the boy's brand poke out from the edge of the bandana wrapped around his wrist. And so, tears began to fall as she was reminded of the one thing she still possessed: her fate.

Unbeknownst to her was that Hope feigned sleep and was silently wishing he knew more about the beautiful soldier weeping in front of him; and that he knew of a way to ease her pain.

* * *

 **A/N:** So… not as long as I had planned, but I felt that if I didn't end it here I would regret it. Main reason for the delay: Lightning. I had to think deeply about keeping her in character (and I still failed miserably) so I apologize for that… from now on I think these chaps will be M rated so… no kids? Well whatever…


	4. Starlight

**A/N:** Another chapter… well, more of a fluffy filler chapter, but still, it's something.

* * *

As Lightning regained awareness from the depths of slumber, she began feeling the uncomfortable hardness of the ground beneath her. She opened her eyes and looked around, spotting Hope curled up like a furry animal.

She watched him for a bit. She watched his blood-soaked arm rise and fall with the inflation and deflation of his lungs, his silvery hair fluttering in the soft breeze and the way his eyelids quivered from having a vivid dream.

After a few minutes of watching the l'Cie, Lightning rose to her feet and made her way over to him; feeling it was about time to get a move on. She squatted down next to him. "Hope, time to wake up!" she exclaimed as she shook him. She never was good at waking people up gently.

Hope groaned, trying desperately to remain in the realm of sleep. "Give me… a sec, mom…" he whispered.

Lightning got up and gave him a gentle kick to the rear end, leaving a faded boot impression on his shorts. "Oh, I'll give you something alright…" she muttered.

The l'Cie's eyes fluttered open and as he focused his vision, his eyes fell upon a pair of combat boots and followed up their owner's feminine legs and body until his gaze reached her face. "Light?" he said groggily. "What time is it?" he asked while sitting up.

Lightning wasn't sure, herself. Phoenix never bothered to shine in the Vile Peaks and few other Fal'Cie ever bothered to make adjustments to their weather, leaving a void in Cocoon's meteorological system. "Your guess is as good as mine." She shrugged. "We've gotta go, so get up and move out…" she ordered as she turned to continue the trek to the Whitewood.

Just as she was about to leave, Hope spoke up. "Umm… Light?" he called, his cheeks going red.

She turned. "What?" she asked irately.

"Umm…" Hope's cheeks went increasingly red with each passing second "… do you mind waiting while I… umm…" he shrank into his timid stance, something that occurred whenever he got nervous.

"Go…" Lightning said with a sigh. She realized that he was only a boy and that he didn't have the bladder control she had gained during the years of training in the Corps' academy.

Hope returned a few moments later, looking rather red in the cheeks. "Sorry about that…" he apologized as he played with his fingers.

Lightning turned to leave. "Let's move… we've wasted enough time" she said as she jogged onwards.

Hope groaned as his legs began screaming at him from all the exertion that occurred the day before. "Wait up, Light!" he yelled as he tried to catch up.

They kept a steady pace as they moved through the junk and Hope had noticed the decline in Pulse automata, as well as the increase of creatures from the Whitewood. They ended up stumbling upon a Pulse automaton fighting a pack of Thexterons.

Hope watched them carefully.

The alpha Thexteron circled around the machine in an attempt to flank it, while its beta subordinates engaged it from the front. The claws of the beasts didn't do much against the hard metallic shell of the Pulsework Soldier and they were beaten back. However, the alpha had managed to get behind it and was going in for the kill; striking the ventilation box on the machine's back. The automaton jumped, opening itself up and revealing its energy core. The pack of beasts then all attacked it, ravaging the glowing battery in an instant.

"Did you see that Light?" Hope asked. "They seem to have intelligence…" he commented as he turned to the soldier.

Lightning took out her gunblade. "I don't care, so long as I can kill them…" she stated before charging.

Hope looked on as Lightning battled, caught in a state of amazement. The way the soldier moved on the battlefield was like a dancer on stage. She slashed vigorously and elegantly at her enemies, pouring all her emotions into each stroke of her blade. The droplets of blood, that flew as she twirled, created a surreal veil that glistened as the light from a few stars shone onto them; enveloping Lightning in a shroud of shimmering crimson.

Lightning ended her dance of death with a final plunge of her gunblade, penetrating through the alpha's skull and sinking the tip into the ground. She kept herself in that position, panting, and, after a few minutes had passed, wrenched the blade from the beast's head. She looked up to see Hope staring at her.

"What?" she asked as she regained composure.

"Umm…" Hope started to blush "… the way you fight… it's… beautiful" he managed to say.

Lightning turned as she felt her cheeks begin to burn and concealed her face underneath her pink locks of hair. "Let's move." She stated before sprinting onwards, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in her chest.

Hope groaned. "H-hey! Wait up!" he exclaimed as he ran to catch up with his female companion.

After several hours of constant marching, Lightning decided to stop. She sensed that her l'Cie charge was desperately in need of a break and, if she was honest, so was she.

"Ok… we'll stop…" she panted.

Hope looked at the soldier with concern. "Hey… Light?" he called out to her, worry laced into his voice. She turned to face him. "Umm… you ok?" he asked timidly.

Lightning felt nauseous and dizzy as her dry tongue started moving to form words. "I may be… a little dehydrated…" she admitted.

Hope immediately rushed to help her. "Here… you should sit down, I'll hydrate you!" he exclaimed as he shoved her onto a boulder. "Water" he whispered, before conjuring a sphere of the clear liquid between the two palms of his hands. "Here…" he said as he pressed the sphere against Lightning's lips.

Lightning felt her cheeks burn, yet again. She was sitting there, being assisted by the very l'Cie she was supposed to be protecting, and was drinking from the palm of his hands. "… Thanks…" she said after gasping for air, feeling the water enter her body and provide some much needed refreshment.

Hope then splashed the remaining water onto Lightning's face and took off his scarf, using the clean side of it to keep Lightning's forehead damp; allowing her to recuperate faster.

Lightning felt a smile penetrate her stone-cold visage. "So, where'd you learn to treat dehydration?" she asked.

Hope's expression turned grim. "I learnt from my dad…" as he said this, he subconsciously placed his left hand on the left side of his abdomen.

"I bet you'll be glad to see him…" she stated, hoping to learn more about the l'Cie's past.

"Yeah…" Hope said in an icy tone, gripping hard onto his black, blood-stained t-shirt.

This time Lightning took notice of his change in demeanor and thought about what it could mean. She stood up and turned to face the Whitewood; the lights atop the tall wall, that separated it from the Peaks, in sight.

"Let's move… I'm feeling better now." She stated, noting the sudden smile to grace Hope's face.

"Ok, ready when you are!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.

The two of them continued the trek, facing monster upon monster, and had almost reached the walls within a few hours. Lightning could tell that Hope was exhausted; his heavy breathing, that interrupted her train of thought, was a good indicator.

"Ok… we'll stop here for the night." She said.

"What…? But… I'm not-" Hope started, just before falling to his knees.

Lightning smiled. "Part of being strong is knowing your limit… don't push yourself." She said, placing a hand on the embarrassed l'Cie's shoulder.

Hope nodded before sweeping the sweat off of his brow and looked up at Lightning. "Sorry…" he said solemnly.

Lightning's smile disappeared. "What for?" she said before heading off to hunt.

Hope was then left to tend to the fire, which he got burning in moments. Afterward, he just sat down and gazed at the bright lights; thinking about what he would do once he got to Palompolum. This subsequently made him think about his focus and whether he'd be able to complete it or not; as well as the consequences.

When Lightning returned she was carrying a few slivers of meat, having gutted the animal away from camp. She tossed them on the bonfire. "Hey… I saved you the trouble of striping the carcass this time, so eat up and go to sleep… it'll be a long day tomorrow." She stated as she sat down. However once she caught a glimpse of Hope's face, she felt something was off. "What wrong?" she asked with concern.

Hope was ripped from his thoughts as Lightning placed her right hand on his. He looked up at her, catching a glimpse of the concern in her eyes. "Oh… nothing, I'm fine." He lied, not wanting the pink-haired soldier to worry.

Lightning didn't buy it, but decided not to pressure him further; trusting that he would tell her what was wrong when the time came. She lied down onto the floor and gazed at the starry sky. "Ok… if you say so…" she said as she thought about the l'Cie, concerned for his welfare.

Hope looked up at the stars that Lightning was gazing at and voiced a question he had been meaning to ask for a while. "Why did you take me along?" he asked.

Lightning sat up. "What?" she asked back in confusion.

Hope looked down towards the flames, trying to avert his gaze from Lightning's. "Why didn't you just kill me? You were ordered to, after all…" he said solemnly.

Lightning lied back down. "Because it wasn't right…" she stated.

Hope looked at her, confused. "But I'm a l'Cie, a… monster… enemy of Cocoon." He said as he felt tears well up in his eyes.

Lightning continued to gaze at the sky. "My sister, Sarah, was… is a l'Cie. Am I to believe she's a monster?" she asked in a calm manner. After a few moments of silence from her companion, the soldier sat up and saw that he was silently weeping. She made her way over to his side and brushed his tears away. "And…" she started, blushing slightly "… am I to believe that you are a monster?" she finished.

Hope's eyes widened and a flood of tears soon poured down his face as he heard Lightning's words. "I'm an enemy of Cocoon… if that doesn't make me a monster, then what?" he asked before sniffling.

Lightning wrapped her arm around his shoulders, bringing him closer to her. "A victim…" she said as Hope began to sob into her bosom.

As the night dragged on, the two wanderers found themselves drifting off into slumber while in each other's embrace; while both the meat and fire were left untouched.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hadn't expected to make this chapter so short… I was planning on carrying on through the Whitewood, but I guess that the moment seemed just right. ANYWAY, sorry for making them so ooc in this chap and I'm expecting lots of reviews screaming at me for making it too fluffy.

See you next time… or something.


	5. Nursing Wounds

**A/N:** Sorry this chap took so long, I hope that you guys like it.

* * *

Lightning and Hope were both hiding in the junk, surveying the gate to the Whitewood. It wasn't long since they had awoken and Hope still needed to rub the sleep from his eyes, leaving Lightning and her razor-sharp vision to scout out the gate's defenses.

"One, two, three… ok there are four guards…" Lightning said as she looked through the junk she was hiding in, trying to make up strategy as she surveyed.

"What will we do, Light?" asked Hope, knowing full well that they would become suspicious if he went with Lightning.

"We wait." She stated coolly.

"Huh?" Hope groaned, expecting something more exciting…

They waited, and as the time flew by Lightning sharpened her blade's edge, shining it to a deadly gleam. Hope, on the other hand, simply watched her and tried to imitate that peerless resolve on her visage; hoping to at least feign bravery in his lack thereof.

"Now." Lightning stated after several hours.

"What?" Hope asked in return, confused.

"Get up and move!" Lightning ordered as she jumped up over the pile of junk she was hiding behind and darted toward the huge gate.

It took a few moments for everything to register in Hope's mind and when it did he found himself scrambling to his feet. "Wait, Light!" he exclaimed as he chased after the soldier, forgetting all stealth and subterfuge and speeding into a blunderbuss of a sprint.

The two of them hurled themselves through the open gateway and stood up after a roll; only to find themselves staring a pack of hungry-looking Thexterons in the eye.

Lightning leapt forward, unsheathing her gunblade, and performed a pirouette; launching all the beasts around her into the air. Hope, after a brief moment of awe from Lightning's display of prowess, began picking off the abominations that had either not been close to Lightning or that hadn't fallen off of the suspended walkway.

When it was all over, Hope was on his hands and knees, panting for breath. "What were they doing… just inside the gateway?" Hope asked as he gasped for air.

"I reasoned that the boys here have been letting out Thexterons they couldn't train, sending them into the Peaks for some easy discarding…" she explained, thrusting her blade through one of the carcasses; testing if it was truly dead. She noticed Hope heaving on the ground. "You ok?" she asked with concern.

Hope staggered to his feet and decided to put his practice of looking brave into action, trying to look as determined as he could. "Yeah… Why don't I take point? Can't have you doing all the work…" he said as his cheeks turned pink.

Lightning raised an eyebrow at the unexpected shift in Hope's behaviour, but reasoned it had something to do with his weird mood shifts in general; they were uncharacteristic even for a teenager in the middle of puberty. She then took note of all the hanging crystalline tree branches that were making visibility poor.

"Hey, if you're taking point, then you should at least arm yourself…" she said as she took out her survival knife "… you can hold onto this for a while, but be careful with it. Got it?" she asked before handing the tool over to Hope.

"Yeah, don't worry… I'll… make you proud." He said timidly.

Lightning felt something within her rise as she heard those words leave her young charge's mouth and bit her lip, having one more thing to say. "Hey and… Hope?" she called sheepishly.

He groaned. "Yeah, Light?" he asked back, wanting to get a move on.

Lightning wasn't sure if it was a good idea to have opened her mouth. ' _Damn! I'm no good with this crap…_ ' she thought. "Umm… if you have something on your chest, you can talk to me… ok?" she said, attempting to sound as reassuring as she could.

Hope smiled. "Ok, thanks Light…" he said before darting off ahead of the soldier.

Lightning heaved a sigh. She never had much luck with Serah when she was going through any sort of problems… she couldn't even tell she was a l'Cie when she came to her and exposed that ominous brand, and now she felt as though she was failing her charge. She was beginning to fall into the depression she had originally felt the day of the Purge…

"Hey, are you coming, Light!?" the l'Cie called in a jovial tone of voice.

Lightning felt something flutter within her chest. For some reason, seeing the smile spread across Hope's face, she felt as though there was something she had to be doing right. She ran to his side.

The two of them made their way through the labyrinth battling leeches, Thexterons and Vespids; with Hope feeling more and more frightened by the hour.

"Hey, stop." Lightning quickly grabbed a hold of the l'Cie's wrist and pulled him back.

Hope looked up to see a flying patrol vehicle speeding overhead. It was a patrol of the Guardian Corps' Woodland Observation Battalion, as shown by the Corps insignia encircled by a wreath of leaves on the vehicle's paint design. The l'Cie sighed with relief as they passed by.

"I guess they're not looking that hard for me…" said the boy as his heart rate began to normalize. "Uhh… Light? You're… umm… hurting me…" he then said as the soldier gripped hard onto his wrist, causing his right hand and fingers to go numb.

Lightning realized she was still holding on tightly to her charge and let go, trying to hide her reddened face under locks of pink hair. "Sorry…" she apologized.

Hope stepped out from the cover of glowing white leaves and looked in the direction that the patrol flew. "I guess that PSICOM reckoned that you must've dealt with me, huh?" he asked halfheartedly, remembering where a similar conversation had gotten him.

Lightning placed her hands on her hips. "I guess that they either kept silent about my squads' disappearance and decided to cut their losses or that they picked up on the other l'Cie's trail and decided to follow them… or a combination of both." She reckoned.

Hope pressed on, trying despairingly hard to ignore the beauty that Lightning emitted as she was enveloped in the unnatural light of the forest. "Good… then we can move…" he stated, not looking at her.

Lightning raised an eyebrow. ' _Did I do something to offend him?'_ she thought as she walked up beside him. "So, uh… what do you plan to do if we have to fight soldiers?" she asked, the determination in her voice wavering ever so slightly.

Hope looked to his feet as he walked. "Well, I guess I'd just…" he shrugged "… let them put a bullet in me or something." He said solemnly, defeated.

Lightning turned around and struck the young l'Cie, splitting his lip and sending blood spattering all over the crystalline walkway. "So you're just gonna give up!?" she exclaimed as her cheeks flushed in a mixture of both anger and strong emotion. "You're just gonna let yourself die and leave me fighting? What the hell is wrong with you!?" she began screaming.

Hope was stunned by the sudden display of emotion and only felt the throbbing pain of his split lip in his entire body, feeling like a lead brick anchored to the floor. "You… you would fight… for me?" he managed to say through his shock, looking up at the soldier.

Lightning opened her mouth, but closed it immediately after; seeing as more pressing matters were in need of being dealt with. A large alpha Behemoth had been drawn to them by the soldier's outburst and was now standing in front of the wanderers.

"Light?" Hope called the soldier, feeling as useless and afraid as he had been the day they met.

Lightning barred her teeth and sped forward, her blade poised to strike the gargantuan creature. When she was within striking range, the beast lunged forward with its claws in an attempt to shred her. She ducked and slid underneath its musculature arms, sprung up, and struck the beast's head.

Hope looked on as the soldier fought, taking in the sight. She was no longer a dancer on the battlefield, this was much more beautiful. She was like a storm, striking with the speed and furry of her namesake as she dodged and weaved with the speed and agility of the wind. In moments she was dominating the Behemoth, carving bloody gashes on its chest and arms that spewed crimson fluid everywhere; the force from the strikes alone threatened to topple the monster.

With a furious blow, Lightning threw the creature down onto its belly, a few feet from where Hope was kneeling. She climbed onto the protrusion that jutted out of its spine, with the agility of a cat, and shifted her weapon into its ranged mode. She took a few seconds to aim at the beast's head as it rocked her gently from its heavy breathing.

The soldier mercilessly pulled the trigger that, with a loud bang, sent a bullet flying into the beast's skull; burying itself into the creature's brain. Lightning jumped off of the carcass and made her way to Hope, who was still in a state of shock from it all.

She reached out a hand. "Of course I'd fight to protect you…" she stated as she helped the l'Cie to his feet "… and I will until you are safe." She finished, receiving a smile from her charge. She turned to leave. "Don't doubt me again, Hope…" she said in a cold voice before walking away.

Hope felt the words grip onto his chest, their icy coldness adding to the pain. He turned to face her and walked forward, climbing over the Behemoth's carcass, and made his way to his guardian's side.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, his cheeks turning pink with shame.

Lightning sighed, letting out her pent up frustration. "Look, it's ok. I'm just… scared, y'know…" she admitted.

Hope felt something flutter inside his chest at the soldier's words, realizing the level of trust that Lightning placed in him in order to voice to him her fears. The two of them made their way to a large, glowing door.

"And, besides…" she turned to him "… some caution and doubt is good, else you end up like my sister…" she said, her face turning somewhat sorrowful as the thought of Sarah entered her mind.

Hope looked at the woman, confused. "But… I am a l'Cie…" he stated, emphasizing am.

The soldier felt regret surge within her, due to her poor choice of words, and stepped up to her charge. "I meant…" she rephrased "… that you'd end up being with someone like Snow." She explained, her blood boiling as the mental image of Snow shattered through Serah's smiling visage.

"Snow…" Hope seethed. "So, you really do know him." He stated with a voice full of rage.

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "I'm guessing that he was with Serah in the Vestige…" she stated "… you must've seen him with my sister." she said as Hope glared intensely at the ground, his fists shaking.

"That bastard is the reason I'm…! He's the reason mom…" the l'Cie's anger soon turned to sorrow and he slumped to the ground, tears running down his face.

Lightning watched as Hope had his emotional breakdown. She couldn't help but see herself on her hands and knees crying in his place, frightened and lost at the realization of being practically alone in the world. The soldier walked over to the boy.

"Hey…" she said, squatting down "… crying won't get you anywhere…" she continued coldly "… so, get the fuck up." She finished, harshly gripping onto the l'Cie's shoulder.

Hope looked up to see Lightning's face. Her eyes were wide and her expression was vacant; with her breathing becoming short, shallow breaths. "Light?" Hope asked as he sniffed.

There was no response from the woman.

Hope could feel her fingernails dig into his skin, having torn through the fabric of his double-layered jacket. "Light… you're hurting me…" he cried softly.

After a few more moments, the l'Cie felt something warm and wet seep down his chest from his shoulder. As the blood started traveling down his body, Hope took out the knife that his guardian had given him only hours before and carefully took out the blade.

"Light… please, I don't want to hurt you…" he said. There was no reply.

The boy hesitantly turned and plunged the blade into Lightning's left shoulder and managed to carve a bloody hole into her pauldron, much like his own.

The soldier let out a loud yelp as she came back into reality. "Wha- Hope? What the hell where you…?" she asked in confusion. She saw the boy clenching his hand on his shoulder, as blood traveled down his arm; the same blood that felt so sticky on her fingers and fingernails.

She looked back at Hope, who was shaking furiously, and saw the fear in his eyes as well as the knife in his hand. He took a few moments to stop his spastic shaking and let the bloodied knife fall to his side; using his freed hand to cast a cure spell on Lightning.

The soldier sighed. "I guess… I went a little crazy, huh?" she said, not able to look her young charge in the eye.

"Yeah…" responded Hope as he looked at the droplets of blood travel down his arm to his wrist, creating beautiful crimson patterns.

The two sat in silence, with the l'Cie refusing to heal his wound; preferring to feel the physical pain over the emotional one. Lightning was the one to break the silence.

"I think that we should find somewhere to make camp…" she stated, hoping to bring her charge out of the emotional knot he had tied himself into. "C'mon…" she said as she helped the emotionally scarred l'Cie to his feet.

The two of them made their way through the glowing light of the doorway and over to the other side; a lift being conveniently placed there for them to use. When they reached the bottom, Lightning saw that ahead was where they kept the feral beasts; the ones that were unchanged and that would fight with all their feral might.

"I think we should stop here…" she stated, turning around to face the crestfallen boy.

Hope didn't utter a sound.

The soldier helped him off of the platform and laid him down onto a large steel pipe. She then turned to take the lift. "I'll go get you some food…" she stated "… and… we'll talk when I get back." She finished as the platform rose.

Hope was then left alone to think. He still hadn't healed the wound on his shoulder and the pain was beginning to bother him. ' _Light… she spoke as if I was someone else. I wonder if she is alright… maybe I've been relying on her a bit too much…'_ he was brought out of his thoughts by the rumble of the lift mechanism. "I should try and take off the stress…" he mumbled to himself.

When the lift reached the bottom, Lightning saw Hope amassing a small pile of the crystalline leaves that the forest was composed of and, after a moment to draw his magical energy, set it alight. The soldier walked over to him.

"Here…" she said as she gently placed a steak of Behemoth flesh onto the fire. She then sat down.

Hope watched the meat sizzle on the flames and felt his sorrow melt away as he took in the warmth of the bonfire. The time the meat took to cook was over relatively soon and so Lightning took it off of the fire, handing it over to Hope.

He refused it. "No…" he said as he pushed it back towards her.

Lightning sighed. "Hope, you've gotta eat… if you don't then you won't be able to keep moving." She said as she tried to offer it back.

Hope refused once more. "No." he stated adamantly.

Lightning was getting annoyed. "Look, I'm going to offer you this one more time and you are gonna eat it; if not, I'll shove it down your throat!" she exclaimed irately. She tried to shove the food onto Hope.

"But…" the l'Cie started in a soft voice "… you haven't eaten anything… not once, in all the time we've been traveling." He stated, feeling somewhat guilty for having eaten all those times that his companion didn't.

Lightning let herself relax. "Look, I told you, I'm not hungry…" she said, attempting to comfort her charge.

However, the soldier's stomach betrayed her and shortly after she had voiced her words, her stomach gurgled. She blushed at the embarrassing noise and looked away from Hope's worried face.

"Light…" the boy sighed.

He took hold of the meat in his guardian's hands, grabbed a hold of her chin and stuffed the food into her mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise and she tried rejecting the meat, using her tongue to try and force it out. When she started gagging on the chunk of cooked flesh, she gave in and took a bite; allowing the food to sit on her tongue for a few instances before finally chewing and swallowing. When she was done, she glowered at Hope.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" she shrieked. She could not believe that Hope had forced her to eat.

"I was thinking that I don't need both of us breaking down from hunger and exhaustion… me, by myself, is enough." The l'Cie stated coolly, not taking his eyes off of his boots for a second.

Lightning calmed down and looked at the floor. "Yeah…" she then gazed at the boy beside her "… I guess we're both still nursing some kind of wound, huh?" she stated.

"Yeah…" Hope responded.

The two of them continued to sit in silence, watching the flames; and only occasionally did one dare to look at the other. Once the flames died down, Lightning turned to look at Hope.

"Do you… want to talk? About… about your mom?" she asked in a soft voice, not wanting to upset the l'Cie she had grown so attached to.

"What's there to talk about? She's dead." He said in a cold voice.

"And what did Snow have to do with it?" the soldier asked.

Hope's eyes flashed with hatred and a strong tongue of flame rose from the embers of the bonfire. "He… he led her on some… some fucked up rebellion!" he cried, his heart heavy with grief.

Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose. She knew Snow and she knew how capable he was of doing something stupid. ' _But to separate a boy's mother from her son and drag her off to fight? What the hell was he thinking!?'_ she mentally screamed.

"But the worst part was… he just… he just…" Hope continued, holding more and more within his mouth; suppressing a tsunami of anger and hate. "He just smiled… and called himself a hero…" he whimpered, all of his built up emotion being channeled elsewhere.

Lightning looked at the vacant expression on his face; at his bloodshot eyes, and at the tears flowing from them. She then heard something drip onto the floor, but it wasn't tears. Her turquoise eyes looked down to Hope's hands and widened as they fell upon them, clenched around the blade of the survival knife.

Lightning immediately snatched the blade from Hope's grasp, inadvertently worsening the wound, and tossed it aside. "Hope, listen to me!" she exclaimed, clasping onto Hope's face and turning him to her. "You want revenge, right?" she offered "Continue fighting against the pain, so that you can inflict it on him…" she finished; not sure just what she was saying, herself.

Hope's eyes sparkled at the talk of revenge. He felt as though he had a purpose again… and it felt invigorating. He brought forth his magical energy and, in a flash, cured all his wounds. He then looked back at Lightning, who was still looking at him with concern.

"So… you'll help me?" he asked with wide, almond-shaped eyes.

Lightning didn't know what to say. She knew that she needed to provide a goal or aspiration for the boy to persevere through his grief. But, on the other hand, she also knew that the path of revenge was a self-destructive one.

The soldier made her decision.

"Yeah… I'll help you." She stated, convinced that as long as Hope had a goal, he would take care of himself.

"I… I knew I could count on you, Light!" he cried, wiping the tears and snot from his face.

"Y-yeah… me too…" said the soldier halfheartedly, not knowing whether she had made the right choice or not…

* * *

 **A/N:** So, whadda you think? This took me waaay longer than anticipated, but I keep going overboard with the ooc of the god damn characters… so, all I can say is forgive me.


End file.
